Dig in the Dancing Tween?

    I'm a big fan of the educational programming on cable. I like to watch the History Channel, Animal Planet, NatGeo, and the like. Whale Wars had MJ and I riveted and I must admit that Pawn Stars sucks me in. My husband and I have been enjoying Locked Up Abroad, although I tend to get heart palpitations while watching that show. I used to be a fan of The Learning Channel, especially when Trading Spaces was big, but lately I've noticed there's not so much learning going on there, but more and more voyeurism. They're fast becoming The Exploitation Channel. Of course, we've all had about as much Jon & Kate as one tabloid-buying nation can stomach. Between Kate's haircut and Jon's ridiculous Ed Hardy tiger shirt, I've had to amp up my Tums supply.  TLC really hit the mother load with Toddlers & Tiaras. If you haven't seen it, don't. Hold onto your innocence. 

    So I guess I shouldn't have been shocked when last night I came across the latest creation from TLC: Dancing Tweens.  At first, I was intrigued, but my heart quickly sank when I realized what was happening here. Ballroom dancing.

    Okay, so I saw the child dancers on Dancing with the Stars last season, and I must admit I was a little creeped out. But I figured, well at least it's a physical activity and I respected the fact that if a kid wants to get into that, then it's best to start young, no different than ice skating or gymnastics. So I put aside my judgment.

But now...I'm officially creeped.

This is what one of the judges said, at least I think she was a judge, maybe she was a mom.

    "They're just little kids off the floor, but when they get all tarted up for the competition, it's showtime."

Yea, that's right, tarted up.

    Then I watched as a mom chewed out her dancing 6-year-old twins, because they weren't focusing and they were embarrassing her. Ummm.... they're 6. Not focusing and embarrassing their parents is pretty much the daily agenda for a 6-year-old.

    One couple (and yes they have regular partners they dance with) who were 9, were being coached to look passionately into each other's eyes as though you're in love. (Pardon me while my head explodes.)

    You know, you've seen Dancing with the Stars. Those dances are HOT!! Who wants their daughter gyrating with some pre-pubescent boy in clubwear, uh, I mean dancewear. So why does it have to be so sexual? Why do they have to do the Samba? Couldn't they stick with the Jive and the Waltz and wear poodle skirts and long gowns? Then I would maybe agree that it's cute.

photo credit TLC

    But let's be honest, along with Toddlers & Tiaras, these shows are really about watching all the psycho moms as we collectively shake our heads in disbelief yet secretly feel better about our own ways of parenting. I watched as one mom ripped a metal comb through her son's slicked back hair over and over and over, while the kid screamed and tried to get away. I wanted to tell that mom, "Sweetie, you've got so much Brylcreem in that kid's hair, it's not going anywhere 'til the this show gets canceled".

    Now, before all you ballroom dancing fans send me hate mail, I don't believe kids and ballroom dancing is inherently bad. It is far better than the pageanting thing, in that at least it's an athletic competition. But I don't think they need to be so grown up, or excuse me, I believe the correct term is 'tarted up'. 

And to the dancing tweens out there: hey, you can dance, you can jive, you can have the time of your life. You're young and sweet, but NOT seventeen.